Two fat broads just screamed at me...
"SLOW DOWN!" I had just zoomed by them in my Nissan Pathfinder as I was driving home at 40 mph. It was dark around the neighborhood, but I didn't think I was driving that fast. I guess my mind was on other things. I remember thinking... "Damn... was I driving that fast?" Everybody in my family drives fast. Something about coming from a racing family will do that to you!
I contemplated the message "SLOW DOWN". Hmm... sometimes God is always trying to tell me something. Maybe that was a clear message to me. See... I always seem to be in turbo mode steamrolling through life. I always keep a lot on my plate (figuratively and literally). I have chickens and my dogs to take care of, a new job that combined two positions into one, a tennis tourny coming up that I am OCDing over by playing lots of tennis, a constant need to workout, a house to take care of, a weekend social life (translation: barfly), a book I am writing, my button pushing blog persona, and being taxed just trying to keep up with E.Shrew.
I feel like I am running through life faster and faster before something catches up with me. What is that? Old age? A boring life? Why am I always on the go? How many damned trips am I going to go on?!?! Why do I constantly keep myself strung out?
I feel like I walk around multi-tasking in my head a slew of agendas before me at all times. I want so badly to excel in one or the other, but I have too many to possibly make that happen. So, I drive myself crazy trying to be good at everything I want to be good in. Sometimes, I am stumbling around dropping my keys, losing my cell phone or being absent minded with the simplest of tasks because my brain is filled with so many To Do's.
I just can't ever imagine my life as a simple routine. Is this normal behavior for a 36 year old? Does it help me fight off Alzheimers if I am always thinking and strategizing? Or is it driving me straight into insanity?
I contemplated the message "SLOW DOWN". Hmm... sometimes God is always trying to tell me something. Maybe that was a clear message to me. See... I always seem to be in turbo mode steamrolling through life. I always keep a lot on my plate (figuratively and literally). I have chickens and my dogs to take care of, a new job that combined two positions into one, a tennis tourny coming up that I am OCDing over by playing lots of tennis, a constant need to workout, a house to take care of, a weekend social life (translation: barfly), a book I am writing, my button pushing blog persona, and being taxed just trying to keep up with E.Shrew.
I feel like I am running through life faster and faster before something catches up with me. What is that? Old age? A boring life? Why am I always on the go? How many damned trips am I going to go on?!?! Why do I constantly keep myself strung out?
I feel like I walk around multi-tasking in my head a slew of agendas before me at all times. I want so badly to excel in one or the other, but I have too many to possibly make that happen. So, I drive myself crazy trying to be good at everything I want to be good in. Sometimes, I am stumbling around dropping my keys, losing my cell phone or being absent minded with the simplest of tasks because my brain is filled with so many To Do's.
I just can't ever imagine my life as a simple routine. Is this normal behavior for a 36 year old? Does it help me fight off Alzheimers if I am always thinking and strategizing? Or is it driving me straight into insanity?
posted by Brettcajun at Wednesday, February 21, 2007
10 Comments:
Bret, ya ain't old, just tired! At 30,40,and 50 I aksked myself the same questions-but didn't slow down, trying to accumulate, get kuddos from those probably not capable of giving them to me. Less than a year ago, I got a letter from MS DMV warning me that because of my speeding tickets, my license was in jeprody. I had never had a speeding ticket until 50 and three years later I get this damned letter! My way of forcing myself to slow down and notice and enjoy life as I know it was to finally put the hammer in hand and build my "cabin in the woods". Mind you, I am a therapist not a carpenter! Built it 2 hours from home on the old family farm (which is no longer farmed). After spending hours online reading about tiny houses, I sketched out what I wanted, rented a uhaul, and began to haul the supplies in. Four days from start to finish, I had built it from the ground up. My dad offered suggestions as he sat back and watched. When it was finished, he remarked that he was surprised that I didn't quit...his way of a compliment. Still working on the inside-have no electricity or running water. Thank heavens for moist soil that makes digging a latrine easy! I look forward to clearing my head as I drive away-leaving work at work, home at home, etc. When I arrive, I am able to accept and welcome the silence and serenity. Late in life, I learned that being alone does not have to mean being lonely. Now to build that outhouse!! This fall, I hope to have built a small smokehouse, just like my granddad had. I will let you know when it is finished and will be glad to loan you the key to THE door. It truly is a one person cabin.(My son drove up one weekend, hung around for a couple of hours, then headed to the nearest Holiday Inn!). Take care bud and get some rest.
I'm glad I'm not the only one running full-throttle all damn day long! So, I guess it's "normal" behavior for a 36 yr. old - - - and apparently for us "old" folks, too.
As a fellow 36 year old, I think we are at that age where we do realize that we are on the cusp of being unable to continue a fun filled life... while we actually have a good 20 years of living la vida loca... we subconciously think we only have a few... just keep going, dont get burned out and enjoy the scenery (no matter how fast it may be going by)
I can relate. Sometimes I feel there isn't enough time in the day to accomplish everything I want to. I have to constantly tell myself to slow down and enjoy things. I'm a huge multi-tasker and there have been studies done that this type of behavior can be damaging.
I agree totally with Kelly. I am 35 myself, and I always think I have to live life to the fullest now because there may not be much time left.
I am forever juggling a dozen things at once, whether it be dancing on the team, working, family, relationship woes, dinners, barhopping, etc...there never seems to be a dull moment. The difference is, I am happy about that. I think there will be plenty of time to slow down later...when I am physically unable to do anything about it, and even then, I will expect to have some young buck pushing my chair around so I can still be everywhere all the time.
Even though life is coming at you fast, you are LIVING a full and exciting life. This is not a bad thing. You are just so pumped up all the time, and being the perfectionist you are, are always needing to be on top. Well, maybe a bottom once in a while but that is a different blog entry all together.
Live life babe, Love life, Enjoy life...you only get his one chance.
I kinda like Kel's thought process. Learn to lrt go of all the planning...you'll stay saner! Now if I could only listen to my own words.
My best bud can't sit still. He doesn't know what to do with himself when all his lists are completed; so he creates new lists - or he finds a drama to keep his mind busy. It's been funny watching him over the years. We've known each other for over 30 years; and he's always been like that. Sometimes, it's exhausting being around him LOL. Because I'm the opposite. I finish what I need to do - then park my ass in a chair; to do nothing but relax. LOL Different Strokes, different folks.
Brian is the same exact way. But trust me, after years of being that way, he's starting to finally slow down a little bit and enjoy life in a different way. Life was wearing him out before.
Your definately not old, and you enjoy, I try slowing down myself sometimes, if I don't I get these damn colds, then all I do is sit around taking nasty pictures of myself.
Brett, Kelly is so right. Times do change. That's inevitable. Fun times are to be had at all points in our lives. They may look and feel different....but the are still fun. It's more "having a fun spirit" than actually doing certain things. My mom is almost 80 and certainly can't do what she did as a youngster...but, let me tell you, her spirit is very very young and vibrant and she takes advantage of every single opportunity presented to her. That will never change. I hope that you, me, and all the rest of us end up like her. Wild and crazy at all stages of our lives!
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